Secrets of Stan Pines
by Girlwithpencils
Summary: Everyone knows Stanford Pines has secrets. Most assume they involve crime while the more observant have concluded they involve the occult. Hardly anyone bothers to think about his more everyday secrets. Outside of crime and the occult what was Stan's past like? What happens when Dipper and Mabel meet it face to face to face.
1. The Mystery Shack's Mystery Guest

**A/N: Greeting and Salutations everybody! This is my very first non-personal fanfic so I do not guarantee that it will be the best quality but I am hoping to improve so please leave constructive criticism and let me know if there are any inconsistencies with the show (I have watched a lot of the episodes but I am no expert!). Please enjoy the story! **

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It was a fairly normal day for Dipper and Mabel Pines, as normal as it could get when you where in Gravity Falls. Dipper was sitting outside reading the journal and Mabel was playing with Waddles when a black car drove into the Mystery Shack's parking lot. As Dipper was about to go get gruncle Stan out of his recliner he noticed that no one exited the car except a tall brunette in a suit and dark sunglasses . The tall woman walked over to the twins.

"Hey kids, I'm looking for Stanford Pines is he here?"

Mabel smiled

"He's in..." she started but Dippers hand shot over her mouth

"He's in town, we're not sure when he's coming back." Dipper said hastily.

The brunette raised her eyebrows

"Oh, alright I'll just wait for him inside the mystery shack then."

After the woman walked into the shack the door shutting behind her Mabel turned and frowned

"Dipper you know gruncle Stan is napping in the house."

"Mabel, come on does she look like a tourist to you? What if she's a tax collector?"

Mabel gasped

"You're right , we have to warn gruncle Stan!" Mabel said

"Mabel, we can't warn him! She's in the shack!"

"Nuts!" Mabel said snapping her fingers

"We'll just have to wear her to the point where she leaves!" Dipper said.

Mabel grinned "Perfect!" she gave him a high-five and then walked into the Shack.

The woman was inspecting the beavercorn her sun glasses were off and her green eyes were staring at intently

"Hi" Mabel said sliding up to her making the woman jump to the side a little

"Hi" the woman said with a hint of amusement but looking at her with mild suspicion.

"What's your name" Mabel said grinning up at her

"Uhh it's Katarina." she said moving to the next oddity glancing at Mabel uncomfortably.

"Catalina? Like the dressing" Dipper said coming up to them

"What? No, it's KataRINA" she said

"OH." Dipper said awkwardly looking away.

"So what are you two's names?" Katarina said wandering over to the Sascrotch exhibit shaking her head after glancing at the sign muttering "wow." sarcastically under her breath.

"I'm Dipper Pines and this is my sister Mabel." Dipper said.

Katarina nodded "Hmm I thought so" she said moving into the gift shop

"What do you mean you thought so?" Mabel asked as she and Dipper ran to catch up to her

"Eh you two just have the Pines look to you." Katarina said looking around the room.

Katarina then turned and knelt to Dipper and Mabel's height

"Alright, I understand that you two are just trying to protect Stan but I really need you to tell me where he is because I really need to talk to him about something important."

"Dipper already told you he's in town." Mabel said.

Katarina took a deep inhale through her nose

"Fine." she said calmly with a hint of frustration in her voice and in the way she stood up.

As she stood up Soos walked in through the gift shop entrance

"Hey guys, I was wondering..." he started but was cut off as Katarina flipped around

"Do you know where Stan is?" she said.

Soos stared wide-eyed

"I, uh umm I uh..." he stammered and then slid out the door again.

"Ugh typical," she grumbled she then turned back to the twins

"I was trying to be polite before but now I give up. I'm going inside to go find him myself."

she then made a bee line for the door to Stan's house.

"NO!" Mabel and Dipper shouted in unison jumping on her causing her to fall to the ground.

"CRIPES! What is wrong with you two!" Katarina said trying to shake them off as gently as she could.

As Katarina finished the last syllable of 'two' the door to the house open and there stood a yawning gruncle Stan

"Mabel, Dipper... haahh... what's all the ruckus abo...," at this point Stan had opened his eyes after finishing his yawn to see Mabel and Dipper each clinging to one of Katarina's legs

"Katarina?!" he said in surprise.

"You know dad," she said finally shaking Dipper and Mabel off standing up

"I think next time I come to visit you, you should tell people 'Hey I have a daughter and she's coming to visit' so they don't think I'm a goon from the IRS and attack me!"

"Dad?" Mabel said looking at Dipper confused

"Daughter?" Dipper said looking back at her equally perplexed.

They both then turned to look at gruncle Stan and his supposed daughter Katarina and summed up their confusion in one word said in unison

"What?"


	2. Catching up with Coffee

**A/N: Hello ladies and gents, I am so glad you enjoyed this story that you decided to rad on! This chapters a bit rough around the edges especially in Stan and Kat's conversations which I base off of my own strange conversation structure, so many apologies if this is nails-on-a-chalkboard painful to read. I promise the next chapter will be better! So now that my spiel is done please commence reading and please feel free to leave any constructive criticism in a review.**

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Stan was sitting across the kitchen from his 25-year-old daughter who was sipping the cup of black coffee he had just set in front of her. She was nearly the spitting image of her mother, which Stan had thanked god for threw out her childhood. The only things Stan could see of himself in her was her height, her hair, the way she smiled, and her mannerisms. Right now he could see that smile they shared as the little shyster finished a joke about how she was owed some compensation for being 'crippled' by his pint-sized henchmen and for using the basis of her childhood imaginary friend ,Gummy the beavercorn, as an oddity without her permission.

"I owe you squat, it isn't my fault you didn't tell me you were coming." Stan said getting to work on some dishes that had accumulated in the sink.

Katarina smacked her forehead

"Dad I called you last weekend to tell you I was coming." she said finishing her coffee and taking off her suit coat to go help.

"You did? Hmm I guess I forgot." he said shrugging

"No really." She said laughing drying a few dishes left in the rack.

"Well, seeing as I forgot you were coming I obviously don't remember what brings you here to sapsville." he said.

She laughed again "I never specified so don't worry I didn't expect you to remember any way, I have a week off work and I thought I would come see two of my favorite people on the planet." She said

"Your mom and Soos?" Stan clarified.

Katarina rolled her eyes and bumped Stan with her shoulder

"Mom and you, goof ball. " she said in a mock annoyed tone.

"How is your mom and her husband?" Stan said glancing over from his dishes

"She and Jack are doing really good, Jack got promoted to regional manager at his job." she said looking back at him.

Stan snapped his fingers

"Jack that's his name is, couldn't remember, have you talked to Markus or LeAnn lately?" he said attempting to segue into a new topic.

"I talk to Markus as often as you do dad so no, and I talked to LeAnn this afternoon actually," she turned her face towards him as she began putting some cups away "she wanted me to remind you that Lizzy's birthday party is next Wednesday at noon and you are invited, I can only assume she won't have a problem if Dipper and Mabel show up, no guarantee though."

Stan made a disgusted face

"Don't get me wrong, I love LeAnn and her kids but I really don't want to go if Deb will be there." he groaned.

Katarina turned and put her hands on her hip "Dad, this is your granddaughter's twelfth birthday party and she really wants to see you so you will be there no matter what," she said then as she turned to put away some more dishes added "Besides I'll be damned if I'm the only one at that party getting the stare down."

Stan snorted

"At least you have your priorities straight," he paused momentarily drying his hands on a dish towel "I've been meaning to ask what's with all that." he said gesturing to the suit she was wearing

"I came here straight from work, it seems like every Friday when I get home my obnoxious neighbor asks me to baby sit and even when I say no she just dumps her kids on me and leaves, so I decided to bypass it all by skipping over changing my clothes." She explained sitting back down at the table next to her father.

After a couple more minutes of general chit-chat ,how's work, who are Dipper and Mabel exactly etcetera, etcetera, Katarina looked out the window

"It's getting dark out." She muttered

"Mhmm, you probable should be heading to your hotel soon." Stan said.

Katarina bit her lip "About that," she moved her hands up by her shoulders in a shrug of sorts "you see I originally was just going to bunk here in my old room, but with Dipper and Mabel here I don't have a place to stay so would you mind if I..."

"You can stay the whole week if you want Kat." Stan cut in. "

Really?" Kat said kind of surprised her dad was never one for having a lot of guests at once.

"Yeah, Of course, you're going have to sleep in the attic or the basement on a cot or something, but like I said when you moved out you were welcome to come back and stay as long as you wanted," he said tossing his arm around her shoulder and ruffling her hair "besides I hardly get to see my little Kitty any more."

Kat laughed and tossed her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek

"Thanks Dad, you're the best."


	3. Supposedly Solving Stan's Secret

"How on earth does gruncle Stan have a daughter?" Dipper said as he an Mabel watched her unpack her car from their bedroom window.

"I know," she said lifting up Waddles and looking at him perplexed " gruncle Stan is eighty or something and she's ,like, twenty."

She tilted her head and looked at Dipper "How does that even work?" she said

Dipper raised his eyebrows

"Mabel, I think gruncle Stan is in his sixties, and your missing the big question here, what happened to Katarina's mom?" he said with an extremely serious face.

Mabel gasped.

"You're right!" she exclaimed, she paused in thought for a moment then pointed at the ceiling "AHA, maybe she fell in the bottomless pit!"

"Mabel, the bottomless pit is like a wormhole she would have just come out again. There has to be something really mysterious about Katarina and her mom if gruncle Stan has never mentioned them." Dipper said

As Dipper finished speaking they heard feet coming up the steps.

"Lets go ask her!" Mabel said running for the exit.

Dipper grabbed the back of Mabel's sweater.

"Mabel!" Dipper said "We must approach this delicately, we can't just out right ask her!"

"LETS DO IT!" Mabel said picking up Waddles and running to the attic followed by a head shaking Dipper.

Kat was fighting to get an old camping cot set up in the attic when Mabel, Dipper and Waddles ran in.

"Hi Katarina!" Mabel said making Waddles wave his hoof

Kat turned and smiled.

"You can just call me Kat." she said still fighting to get the cot set up.

"Oh," Mabel said looking back and forth "Well, Hey Kat!" she said with great enthusiasm.

Dipper smacked his hand to his forehead and Kat just laughed.

"Hey right back at ya', what brings you two up here?" she asked

"Just wanted to ask you some questions." Dipper said

"Well question away, Pines squared." she laughed turning back to the stubborn cot, but catching the black stare of Dipper and Mabel she decided to rephrase her joke "Pines to the second power?

"Oh, I get it now, heh heh heh." Dipper said then laughing awkwardly with Mabel.

Kat laughed even harder than before.

"Just ask your questions." she said still laughing a little.

Mabel jumped in with the first question.

"How old are you?" she said

"I am twenty-five." Kat said fidgeting with the cot some more grumbling.

Mabel gasped "Gruncle Stan must have been ancient!" she exclaimed

Kat laughed so hard she started to snort.

"Your gruncle Stan is not that old! He was in his late thirties when I was born." She said

"Oh," Mabel muttered "he was still pretty old."

"Whatever Mabel," she chuckled to herself and she finally got the cot set up "YES, FINALLY, SUCK IT COT!"

She then proceeded to burst into a swing dance style happy dance.

Dipper's jaw dropped.

"Are you Carla's daughter!?" he exclaimed with a horrified expression.

"Nice way of approaching it delicately." Mabel muttered.

"Oh God, my dad is still talking about Carla?!" she laughed shaking her head "No, my dad met my mom almost a decade and a half after Carla dumped him."

"Oh, then what happened between Stan and your mom?" he asked.

She paused and chewed her lip a bit then spoke.

"They split up when I was two. He prefers not to talk about it because it was especially hard for him." she said quietly not making eye contact.

Mabel looked back and forth between Dipper ,now twiddling his thumbs and avoiding eye contact, and Kat ,who was also avoiding eye contact while she set up things around the room. She then adjusted Waddles in her arms and smiled brightly.

"Do you have any siblings?" she said with extra cheer.

Kat glanced over at the determined look of happiness on Mabel's face and smiled back.

"Yeah, my older brother Markus and my older sister LeAnn." She said

Dipper frowned.

"How did your siblings get normal names when you got saddled with Katarina?" he said

Kat snorted rolling her eyes.

"Guess their mom liked normalish names more than my mom did." she shrugged

" What do you mean 'their' mom" Dipper asked

Kat paused again.

"Your great-uncle was divorced with two kids when he and my mom met, so technically Markus and LeAnn are my half-siblings because they are his first wife's kids." she said

"Really, gruncle Stan's big secret was that he's been married twice and has kids?! That is so lame!" Mabel said mouth open

"Yeah, that is kind of lame." Dipper said

"It's not a lame secret it's normal, Cut him some slack, Stan is a normal guy who does weird stuff not everything about him is going to mysterious." Kat said searching her pockets "You get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I guess." Mabel said dejectedly resting her chin on Waddles head.

"Good." She said nodding her head.

Shortly after she threw her hand up frustrated finding her pockets empty except for car keys

"AH, DAAARRrrrn it," She said deciding half way into her explicative to make it mildly more child friendly remembering Dipper and Mabel's presence "I left my cellphone in my car, see you two later." she then jogged down the steps.

"I can't believe Gruncle Stan's secret is so boring." Dipper said going up to the window.

"I know, I guess he really is just a normal guy." Mabel said sitting next to him watching as Kat ran to her car.

"Heh, Kat kinda runs like gruncle Stan." She giggled

"Oh my god, she does!" Dipper laughed along with Mabel as she had Waddles mimic the motions.

Later that evening Kat was sitting in the window seat of the attic typing on her computer when her phone began to ring.

"Hello?" She said picking it up off of the cot where she had left it.

"Hey, It's me, " Her sister LeAnn said "You get to dad's ok?"

"Yeah, I got here a couple of hours ago." she said moving back to the window seat.

"Good, Did you remind him about Lizzy's birthday on Wednesday?" LeAnn asked

"Yep, I may end up dragging him to your house but he will be there" She laughed a little

LeAnn laughed back.

"Alright, anything new with him?" she asked.

"No, not really," Kat said adjusting her laptop slightly " he has some relatives staying over, I think there uncle Duke's son's kids, Mabel and Dipper."

"Oh, sure I've met them before."

"Would there be a problem if we lugged them with us to the party?"

"I don't think so, they're around Lizzy's age and they're pretty good kids."

"They sure ask a lot of questions, though."

"Gave you the third degree about why dad never talks about you, huh?"

"Yep, I didn't give them anything really solid, but I probable told them way too much for dad's comfort zone," Kat finished typing a sentence on her laptop, hit the save button, closed it, and changed her phone to her other ear " I'm not even here a whole day and these kids are already too close to figuring who and what I am."


	4. The root of fantasy in flashback

**A/N: Woohoo more chapters! Thank you all for the favorites it quite literally makes my day. Just a heads up I will not be updating for the next few days as I will be out of town but I will keep working on the story. I also made some allusions to real-world things (brownie points if you name them) and this chapter contains A FLASH BACK (doctor who theme) in which I mention everyone's favorite semi-demented gnome SCHMEBALAUCK! Expect a few more of these in the future. Now please commence reading and feel free to rate and review :)!**

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It was early the next morning and Stan, Mabel, Dipper and Kat were sitting around the kitchen table slowly consuming the waffles Kat had made for 'rent'. It was slightly more believable that Kat was Stan's daughter at this point in the day ,as she sat in her pink and yellow striped pajama pants with a very worn Mystery Shack t-shirt cut into a tank top protectively crunched over a large mug of black coffee occasionally taking bites of waffles. Mid-yawn Kat's phone began playing the Perry Gardner theme. She stood up quickly and excused herself to the next room.

"Hello Katarina Pines-Lake speaking." She said with a wide smiling trying to put some form of energy into her voice as she walked into the next room.

All Dipper, Stan, and Mabel heard after that was a shrill squeal and a few uhuh's and okay's. As she came back into the kitchen doing a happy dance similar to the one she had done the evening before Stan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Who was that?" he said sipping his own mug of coffee.

"My editor." She said happily.

"For your magazine doesn't the he know you're on vacation?" Stan grumbled.

"No, Dad my book editor, she called to tell me that the publisher that we sent the excerpt of my book to wants to read more and has a genuine interest in publishing it." She said excitedly.

Mabel smiled wide in excitement.

"You write for a magazine and are writing a book?!" Mabel squealed.

"Mhmm." Kat said over her cup of coffee.

"What magazine do you write for?" Dipper asked curiously.

"Interstate Topographic." she said after another mouthful of coffee and waffle.

"Cool, what is your book about?" he asked

Kat smirked over her coffee.

"That is a secret, but I can tell you it is fantasy related and is based on my childhood." she said

"Your childhood?" Dipper said suspiciously, looking at Mabel then back to Kat.

"Yup, I had a wacked out imagination, remember all those crazy dreams I used to have dad?" Kat laughed

"Yup." Stan said nodding his head slightly uncomfortable.

***(19 years ago)***

"Daddy? Daddy, wake up please. Daddy come on get up!" a small voice whimpered to Stan.

Stan sighed, he was a fairly deep sleeper and he had ignored these whispers ,assuming they were a dream, for the past 5 minutes. He very slowly opened his eyes groping for his glasses and saw a pair of big green eyes staring at him from a figure crouching on his chest.

"GAH!" he shouted sitting straight up and fumbling to turn on his lamp and find his glasses.

After finding his glasses and finally turning on the light he saw his six year-old sitting at his feet nearly in tears clinging to a tatty red blanket that she always insisted she take in the forest to protect her from monsters because her imaginary friend said it would.

"Kitty what are you doing up, it's gotta be two in the morning or something." He said rubbing his eye.

"I...I...had..had a bad dream." She sniffled rubbing the blanket against her face.

"You had a bad dream?" he asked picking her up and setting her in his lap.

"Mhmmm, 'bout the not ," she said putting her head against his chest "and there was a monster too."

'the not animals' were a term Katarina had used since she was very little to describe fantasy creatures. It didn't generally mean the creature was bad ,she had called the fairys in her story books not animals until she had an actual name to give them, but it meant if it was a lesser evil. The word monster was reserved for things that could scare even the most hardened adult.

"Oh," Stan said "well should we go to your room and talk about it?"

He lifted her off his lap, stood up, and offered her his hand. His daughter frowned and put her arms out in front of her.

"No Daddy, carry me." she said.

Stan sighed lifting her up with grunt.

"You are getting to big for this Kitty." he said as they started to walk to her room.

The little girl crossed her arms and frowned.

"Nuh-Uh daddy I am still little, I'm only six, when I'm seven I'll be too big." she said fiercely shaking her little head long messy brown hair flying around hitting Stan lightly on the face."

"Then I must be getting too old." Stan snorted brushing her hair out of her face.

Stan was now forty-four years old and more often than not he was sure he was too old. He had barely been a part of his two oldest kids lives and hadn't done as good of a job as he would have like with the time he had with them. Now he had a six year-old little girl full of adventure, energy and ideas that he spent half the year trying to keep up with all on his own. Just last week she had nearly driven his car into a fence while he was filling it up and just this morning she had wandered off into the woods and came back with a gnome ,shmeba-something-or-other, that was trying to convince her to go back into the woods with it and Stan had thrown it back into the woods before it called a bunch of other gnomes and have them cart her off. He had to spend an hour convincing her that after it hit a tree it had run back into the woods ,though he wasn't sure if that was true, to get her to stop crying. Sometimes he wondered why he hadn't suggested a custody agreement that was more manageable for him, like weekend visitation or something.

Katarina smiled a little at her dad

" Silly daddy," she said rubbing her nose against his "you aren't old, as long as I count how old you are you still be my sweet little daddy."

Now he remembered why he had been happy when Annabelle had suggested this, and why he had fought so hard for this with Deb.

"Oh really?" he said raising an eyebrow " Show me."

The little girl grinned and put her hands on her hips sassily.

"I will," she said stubbornly "one, two, three, four, five..."

by the time they reached her room she had gotten to forty.

"Forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four! TADA!" she said putting her hands up in triumph

Stan laughed

"Good job," he said setting her on her bed "how'd you learn how old I was?"

"Mama told me when I was making your birthday card." She said crawling under her covers.

"Ah, so lets talk about that bad dream then huh?" he said laying down next to her on the bed.

Originally the beds in her room were Markus and LeAnn's but since they had moved out last summer, she had moved in, and Stan had absolutely zero gumption to move them the little girl had two beds meant for teenagers in her room ,one of which she used as a combination trampoline fort thing.

"Well I was walking in the woods with Gummy, and the eye-ball not animals with wings where flying around us and chased us into a cave,"she whispered progressively becoming more scared, snuggling close to him "We walked in the cave for a while and then a the wendigo monster came and it chased us and tried to eat us."

Stan frowned down at his daughter.

"A wendigo?" he asked

"Mhhmm, they are all grey and bony and have yucky lips and they are super fast and they get that way cause they eat people." she whispered horrified

"I know, I know what they are honey but where did you hear about those?"

"In the book with the one and the funny looking hand on it" she said lifting up her left hand and placing fingers from her right hand next to it so they equaled six.

"Where'd you find the book honey?" Stan said slowly becoming mortified

"In the basement...except it wasn't the basement. Gummy showed me. We went behind the vending machine and then down a bunch of stairs and then we found it and she read some of it to me."

Stan bit his lip. Two things had become very apparent to him just now. The first being beavercorns were obviously real,his six year-old having befriended one that was getting her into trouble. The second being he needed to be more careful with supernatural things around his daughter. "Kitty, there is nothing behind the vending machine, you must have just imagined it " he said smoothing her hair " and besides wendigo's aren't real, their just made up, you don't have to worry about it."

For once Stan was being honest, well mostly, about the supernatural. The only wendigo that had ever been in Gravity Falls had been an anomaly and had been killed by the writer of the journal as soon as he discovered it.

"But Gummy said that everything in the book was real." she said sleepily.

"Honey, I think Gummy has just been getting you into trouble, if she keeps bringing it up you should tell me and I'll turn her into a hat." he whispered.

Kat yawned and swatted gently at her dad's arm.

"Be nice daddy." she mumbled

"Kay, " he whispered kissing her forehead "I love you Kitty-kat."

"Love you too daddy." she whispered kissing his nose smiling clinging on to his arm till she fell asleep.


	5. Factoids

**A/N: Well here is the next chapter. Fairly short (a wee bit more than fairly but whatever) but we will be getting on to some action soon including time jumps. Please enjoy and rate and review.**

That afternoon Kat was decked out in the much more comfortable outfit of a leather jacket, tank top, jeans cowboy boots and her favorite necklace sitting on the hood of her car lemon-lime slurpee in hand relaxing. She had just finished helping with two tours and now felt she had earned some relaxation time. Although she would never tell her dad she had honestly missed working at the Mystery Shack. Usually she had worked the gift shop, had ordered supplies or made oddities but when she had the opportunity to do a tour she would jump on it. She viewed tours as a way to test her story telling skills and they got her out of the Shack for a while. She had taken up one of her Dad's tours specifically to get out of the Shack and reacquaint herself with Gravity Falls. She had just finished a tour of her own when she had opted to get her slurpee and bummed a ride back with some tourists who asked her the way to the Mystery Shack. Her dad had then started a tour of the forest which highlighted on the spirit tree ,a tree that was supposedly inhabited by fairies that trapped the souls of anyone who died in the forest, and then decided to fake a possession. It was surprisingly believable, probable due to all the practice she had doing creepy things to scare off ignorant suitors of either of her parents and the fact that lemon lime slurpee look rather ectoplasmic in forest light, and led to buying a bunch of spirit tree sticks and other merchandise. Mabel who had been goofing off with Dipper in the woods saw the fake possession and decided due to her acting skills, awesome fashion sense, world travel, and becoming a fiction writer she would endeavor to learn her smiled and walked up to the car.

"Hey, girl!" Mabel said trying to scramble on the hood of the car.

"Hey, what's up?" Kat said helping her up on the car's hood.

"Nothing much, just wanted to see what you were up too." Mabel said giddily

"Just relaxing after some tours is all." she said taking a sip from her slurpee.

"Oh that's cool," Mabel said trying to get into a sitting position like Kat's and then looking for a conversation topic decided to jump on to the topic of clothes "That's a cool jacket."

"Oh thanks my boyfriend got it for me to wear when we go on motorcycle rides." She said smiling

"You have a boyfriend?" Mabel said finding her long-lost second cousin even more interesting.

"Mhmm, his name is Paul, we met when I was doing a story in Germany." She said

"Can I see a picture?" Mabel said excitedly.

"Sure," Kat said fishing her phone out of her pants pocket, flipping through it then handing it to her. "This is him at Loch Ness, when we were visiting his parents in Scotland."

The picture was of a tall, muscular, blonde guy in a german soccer jersey and a kilt pointing at the Lock Ness sign. Mabel frowned at it.

"Where's he from?" she said flipping the picture in hopes of shedding some light on him.

"He was born in Scotland but when he was twelve his family moved to Germany so they could be closer to his mom's parents who were getting older and after they passed away he didn't move back to Scotland." Kat said

"Oh,"Mabel said nodding " He's pretty cute."

"I belive that the word you are looking for is gorgeous." Kat said smiling.

Mabel burst into giggles followed by Kat doing the same. Mabel tilted her head and looked at Kat's necklace.

"That's a cool necklace, where'd you get it?" Mabel asked.

the necklace was a leather chain with a silver charm that was made of a circle that had an arrow pointing to the left and right and lead to a rhombus shape.

"Oh, my dad gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday, really cheesed off his older brother Cornell." Kat said

"Why?" Mabel said.

Mabel had no idea who gruncle Stan's brother Cornell was. The only sibling of Stan's that she knew anything about was his older twin brother, her grandpa Duke.

"He's a minister, he got all mad when my dad started the Mystery Shack and gave me this because he was convinced that Stan was being blasphemous and being a bad influence." Kat said with a hint of disgust squeezing her slurpee bottle to the point that the lid shot off and the left overs fell onto the ground.

Mabel frowned slightly uncomfortable and Kat noticed, then she was struck with an idea.

"Hey, how about you go get Dipper and we head into town, see what sort of adventures we can find?" Kat asked

"Sure!" Mabel said.

She then ran off to go get Dipper.


	6. Revenge is Best Served with Icecream

**A/N: Hey everyone sorry for the gap in updating. I've been procrastinating lately and having a bit of computer trouble. But I soon should be getting into a more normal updating schedule perhaps once or twice a week.(updating everyday is not at all feasible especially since I am going back to school soon.) Any how another flashback chapter and next chapter will be skipping ahead and that is where the good stuff starts. Well, that's all for now, please enjoy and feel free to rate and review. TTFN(ta-ta for now, for you non-Winnie the pooh fans)**

Dipper and Mabel where sitting in the back seat of Kat's black four door car with all the windows open BABA playing on her Mp3. Kat was driving and looking at the scenery. Whenever she did get the chance to visit Gravity Falls it always seemed like it was raining, snowing or dried up and dead. Summer was a completely different, because you couldn't go anywhere without seeing life. As they got into town Dipper looked around.

"Where are we going?" he asked

Kat took a handed and pointed out the windshield.

"TO THE ICE CREAM SHOP!" she said loudly

They then burst into a round of 'I-scream-you-scream'. They pulled into the parking lot then went inside to order. As they waited for their ice-cream Pacifica Northwest came in.

"Oh look it's Mabel." she said to her posse.

"Pacifica." Mabel groaned.

As Pacifica made some snarky remarks to Mabel, Kat half eavesdropped half continued her conversation with the cashier. After their order came in Kat walked over to a saddened Mabel who was being comforted by Dipper and handed them their cones.

"Don't pay her any attention Mabel, she isn't worth the breath it take to say her name." She said kneeling to her height.

"But she is so popular." Mabel said sadly taking the cone staring at it sadly.

"So, the people of Gravity Falls can be put into three camps, the wonderful friendly people who can be your best friends, the jerkish air wasters who aren't worth your spit, and the floaters who are great friends until an air waster appears to suit their interests better. Anyone who sides with that little brat isn't worth your time, right?" She said smiling at her.

Mabel grinned back.

"Yeah your right!" She said.

"Aren't I always? Now come little Pineses to the Kat mobile !" she said pointing to the door.

As Mabel and Dipper ran out the door to her car, Kat quietly loosened the lid of her milk shake, tripped and sloshed a large amount of it on top of Pacifica's head. She quickly said a sincerish apologize and then got into the car with a mischievous smirk stretching across her face.

"Hey Kat," Dipper said looking up from his ice cream cone "What group do you sort Soos into?"

"Huh, oh, you mean good guy, air waster, or floater? He's a good guy. Why do you ask?" She said

" He acted all weird when he saw you yesterday." he said

"We get along really well, but we have an awkward relationship." She laughed.

She was unsure how to explain the fact that when she was younger she used to have a huge crush on Soos without putting them both in a uncomfortable situation. He had let her down as gently as he could and their friendship went back to normal till she hit puberty. She had made it clear that she had lost any feelings for him other than friendship in a surprisingly hostile way. He still had some residual attraction to her and the weird reaction was due to that and her anger.

"How do you put people into those categories?" Dipper asked

"Trial and error and personal experience." She said solemnly.

***(15 years ago)***

"Hello Mystery Shack, Stan Pines speaking!" Stan said picking up the phone behind the counter of the gift shop.

"Hello Mister Pines, this is Jeffreson Thorton, I am the principal at your daughter, Katarina's school, I would appreciate it if you would come in at 4:30 to discuss with you and her mother some of her behavior."

"Oh..Uhmm, ok then I'll see you then at 4:30, I suppose." Stan said uncomfortably.

After closing the Shack for the evening Stan drove into town in no great mood figuring that because Kat hadn't come back on the bus that she had detention. When he walked into the office of the local elementary school Kat's mother, Annabelle, was sitting in a chair facing the door of the principal's office.

"Do you know about this?" Stan said sounding angrier than he intended.

"No, " She said calmly "But you can ask Kat now." she gestured to the door into the hallway.

Coming into the office was Kat being walked in by her fourth grade teacher. Her hair was messy and her jeans were scuffed up she was not making eye contact with either of her parents.

"Katarina Harriet Pines-Lake what did you do?" Stan said.

"You'll see." Kat said.

"I'd prefer to know what sort of trouble we are dealing with." Annabelle said.

Kat looked away and Stan could understand why. Annabelle was using her controlling her anger voice and that was one of the more scary things about this short, usually calm woman. After that the principal opened the door and let them into his office.

"Mr. Pines, Mrs. Pi..." He started then noticed Annabelle's raised eyebrows "excuse me Ms. Lakes, Today Katarina started a fight with another student today."

"Verbal or Physical?" Annabelle said.

"It was a physical altercation." Mr. Thorton said.

Stan raised an eyebrow. Kat was sassy and was a big fan of horsing around but she never was violent.

"Really?" he said.

"Yes, she got into an argument with another student, and then pushed her on the ground and punched her in the face, Now we want to know what could have caused this." he said steeping his fingers.

Stan and Annabelle turned and looked at Kat. Stan in astonishment and Annabelle more in disappointment.

"Tanya, was being mean to me and was making fun of me." Kat muttered kicking her feet and brushing her the dirt off her jeans.

"She was making fun of you? Really, that's your excuse for getting into a fist fight?" Stan said

Kat whipped her head towards him in anger.

"It's not my fault she's such a bi...such a brat!" She shouted, wavering in the middle remembering that her mother was in a crappy mood.

"You had better have meant brat." she murmured quietly

"I see, well we have a strict policy here on violence but seeing as this is her first offence it is only a two-day in school suspension."

"In school suspension." her mother said slowly.

Kat had pulled her knees to her chest and was looking at her feet avoiding her father's look of disapproval. After being dismissed all three left for the shack to have a family discussion.

"So, what on earth made you think that it was ok to get in a fist fight." Annabelle said seething sitting across from her daughter in Stan's kitchen.

"I dunno." Annabelle said kicking her feet.

"Seriously? Katarina, that is a piss-poor excuse and any way I thought you and Tanya where friends." Stan said frustrated

"Not anymore." she grumbled kicking her legs faster.

"What did she do to make you beat her up and stop being friends with her?" Annabelle said

"She called me..." she looked at her mother and father gauging their level of tolerance then went on " she called me what uncle Corny calls me, I told her to stop and she didn't and then I got mad and I'm sorry."

At this point she had made the effort to make eye contact. Stan still looked angry but it wasn't directed at her and her mom was biting her lower lip, a clear sign she was anxious.

"I see," her mom said slowly "well, as mean as it was for her to call you that name you still shouldn't have hit her and you are definitely still in trouble."

She then turned to look at Stan.

'Your week, your decision." she said calmly.

Stan paused in thought for a while.

"You're grounded for the week no T.v. or phone." he said

Kat let out a moan going limp in her chair.

"Hey, you did this to yourself kiddo," he said just as she was about to start arguing "now go wash up or something, I'm going to make dinner soon."

He made a shooing motion with his hand and Kat proceeded to stomp to the stairs with a face like she ate a whole lemon. Half way up the steps the stomping stopped and then became the sound of running feet. Kat ran back into the kitchen and hugged her parents.

"Love you Mom, love you Dad." she said sweetly

"Love you too, but this doesn't make you ungrounded." Stan said ruffling her hair

She stomped her foot.

"Darn it!" she said angrily.

Annabelle raised an eyebrow at Stan.

"You and I are both seeing this face and we both know what it means." he said turning Annabelle's face toward Kat and pointing at it "If you are not careful this face is going to force me to add more time to your sentence."

"Ughh, fine I'm going." She moaned.

She then began to slowly stomp up the stairs. Stan followed her and called up to her.

"Quit stomping!"

Kat turned and put her hands on her hips.

"GEEZ LOUISE, I WILL! " she said turning and walking up the stairs.

After he heard the inevitable door slam Stan turned back into the kitchen. Looking back at Annabelle he started smiling and then despite everything they burst out laughing.


	7. Party Time

**A/N: Another short chapter ladies and gents, much apologies. Next chapter shall be MORE ACTIONY. Enjoy *arm wiggles*.**

"Come on people, we have to drive for an hour get to LeAnn's house and none of us want to get the stare down for being late." Kat said calling out the window of her car, honking the horn.

It was finally Wednesday and after many stories about Stan, Mabel and Dipper where ready to meet some of their cousins. Stan however was absolutely miserable and was slowly dragging himself out the door of the Shack. Katarina had been given guidelines from her sister that she was supposed to relay to Stan. Most of the guidelines where about keeping all things related to the Mystery Shack and the weird at home. Stan was now fez-less, was wearing a white button up and some black dress pants, and was very grumpy as he walked into his daughters car.

"Come on dad, this'll be fun you'll get to see Markus and LeAnn, and your grandkids!" Kat said smiling.

Stan turned with a grumpy face towards her as they pulled out on the road.

"And I'll have to see Deb too." he grumbled

"Ugh, Dad no one is going to make you talk to her. You can avoid her all day if you want." Kat sighed

"Fine." he muttered

The rest of the car trip was fairly peaceful and involving bad jokes, spontaneous singalongs, and absent-minded toffee peanut eating. As they pulled up into the yard of gray house with a bundle of brightly colored balloons at the door a girl who was just a little shorter than Dipper who had bright red hair in a long braid ran out into the yard.

"Aunt Kat!" She said jumping on her as she stepped out of the car

"Hey Lizzy happy birthday!" She said hugging her and then dropping her back down

"Thank you, and you brought grandpa," she said turning noticing Stan shuffling out of the car "Hi grandpa Stan, thanks for coming." giving him a hug.

"No problem." He said ruffling her hair.

Lizzy turned and stared at Mabel and Dipper.

"Since when did you have kids?" she asked confused.

"Geez Lizzy, let's all just jump to conclusions, these are your mom and I's cousins kids Dipper and Mabel." Kat said gesturing.

Lizzy turned and raised an eyebrow.

"It's his nickname, I know it's weird, I don't know why they call him that , I didn't bother to ask, now come along I need some cake!" Kat said turning and walking towards the trunk of her car to get her and Stan's gifts. As Mabel giggled at Dipper's dejected face Lizzy walked over.

"Hey if you guys want you can come inside and hang out, we have nachos." she said politely

"Nachos?!" Mabel said excitedly

"Yep, you can't have a party without nachos!" she said laughing giving both Mabel and Dipper high-fives.

As they went inside ,leaving Kat to try to convince him to come inside, Dipper and Mabel realised how normal the house seemed for someone who was related to Stan.

"MOM, AUNT KAT AND GRANDPA STAN ARE HERE WITH YOUR COUSIN'S KIDS!" Lizzy said shouting as she walked up the entry way steps followed by Mabel and Dipper ,trying to absorb the extremely normal house.

"Hold on." a female voice called.

The woman who appeared on the steps looked very little like Stan or Kat. She was short and curvy with curly brown hair but the smile was very similar to Stan's. She smiled at Dipper and Mabel.

"Hi Dipper and Mabel, right?" she said reaching out to shake each of their hands "I'm Stan's daughter LeAnn. Make yourselves comfortable."

As they walked up the stairs they noticed a man who could only be Stan's son. He looked like Stan down to the glasses and the frown that appeared as soon as Stan and Kat walked up the steps. Stan greeted LeAnn her husband and her other two children along Markus' three children and wife. When he reached Markus he smiled.

"Hey Markus." he said hopefully

Markus stared boredly at his father.

"Dad." he said flatly.

Stan turned towards LeAnn and Kat and frowned. As Stan just began to get comfortable on LeAnn's couch striking up a conversation with LeAnn's father-in-law when the sound of a car coming up the drive way. By the time Stan got up to go outside it was too late. Walking up the stairs followed by her husband was Stan's ex-wife Deb.


	8. Deb

**A/N: Hoofta this was a long time coming. Sorry it took so long I've been procrastinating as of late and school just started so prepare for even more sporadic updates. ENJOY!**

*** 39 years ago***

Stan sat on the hood of his car by the ravine. Carla had just dumped him and he now was mopeing a bit sipping a can of beer.

"Well, Well isn't it Stanford Pines." a female voice said behind him.

Stan jumped fumbling with his can then tossing it in the ravine in a panic completely forgetting that at 24 he was allowed to drink.

"Augh." he shouted turning to look behind him.

Standing behind him was Deborah Kent. She was a short and curvy 22 years old with thick curly brown hair that he remembered as being one of Carla's younger sister's friends. He had seen her a couple of times at church and school but had never really talked to her.

"Gee, couldn't share could you?" she said sliding over the hood next to him.

"What are you doing here?" he said staring at her suspiciously.

"Taking a walk, I'm guessing you are still mopeing about Carla dumping you."

"Shut up." Stan grunted

"I take that as a yes, " she said laughing leaning back "To be honest she was justified."

"What!?" Stan said

"You drove her boyfriend's van into a ravine." she said laughing

"I had to! That guy was controlling her mind!" he said frustrated.

Deb laughed aloud and Stan responded with a frown.

"Shut up, It's not that much different then when you keyed up your ex's cars."

She looked at him aghast still laughing.

"It is completely different, he cheated on me!" she said

"That's basically what Carla did." Stan said frustrated

"Ehhh." she said making a so-so motion with her hands.

"Either way it sucks." Stan grumbled

"Yeah" Deb muttered back.

They talked together for a while on things other than their ex's but soon they were back to it.

"I mean for Pete's sake I freed her from that stupid hippie's mind control and she dumps me!" Stan said tossing his arms up.

Deb burst into giggles and looked at the sky.

"Gosh I never realised how cute you were, It's getting late so I gotta head home but give me a call some time." she said getting up and waving

Stan paused in confusion and stared at her as she walked away.

"Wait, does that mean that you want me to ask you out!?" he called after her

"I keep forgetting Carla was your only girlfriend, yes it means I want you to ask me out!" she called back smiling.

"When?" he called back laughing.

"Sometime!" she laughed back

"Come on Stanford, it'll be fun!" Deb said smiling at him pulling on his arm dragging him towards a ferris wheel.

They had been dating for six months and no matter how much he hated heights, his love for her was going to make him get on this gigantic wheel of death. Stan got slowly into his seat next to Deb. It was one of those ferris wheels where you had a sort of compartment where you could sit six people or so facing each other so he felt just a hair safer.

"Stan, are you alright?" Deb said concerned.

"Mhmmm." Stan muttered.

One of Stan's hands was clenched around the side of the compartment one was shoved in his pants pocket.

"Stan, come on relax a bit, these are completely safe." she said taking his hand out of his pants pocket and patting it comfortingly.

As she glanced down at the hand she was patting she noticed that it was clutched around something.

"Stan,what's in your hand?" she asked

"Oh, well I guess now is as good of a time as any," he said glancing at his hand and pulling it away, turning to face her "So I know we haven't been going out for long, but I love you and I know you love me, so I thought that maybe we could get married?"

He quietly opened the box which showed a very simple diamond ring. Deb stared at him for a few moments, mouth open. As Stan began to close the ring box and put it back in his pocket, beginning to mumble something, Deb let a high-pitched squeal of excitement and knocked him to the floor of the ferris wheel by tossing her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"Yes!" she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Really?" Stan said in shock.

"Of course you big bafoon!" she laughed.

Stan grinned rolled over her so he was on top of her resulting in the compartment shaking just as they reached the top resulting in Stan letting a slightly higher than normal scream escape and Deb laughing uncontrollably.

A year later they were married and six months after that their son Markus Samuel Pines was born ,who thankfully was born surprisingly small so any possible thoughts that Stan and Deb had engaged in improper activities before marriage was squashed almost completely. A year later they had their daughter LeAnn Rose. The next five years where wonderful, They lived in a comfortable suburb a half hour outside of Gravity Falls, where expecting their third child, Stan was doing well in his job as a traveling salesman and was getting a leg up on his career as an entrepeneur. The only down turn was Stan's older twin brother ,Duke, being attacked by Bill and having all his memories about their supernatural adventures erased.

One evening Stan came home from a work trip to find Deb curled up on the floor of their room in immediatly ran and sat next to and held her.

"Baby, what's the matter?" He asked in near panic.

Deb just cried harder. After awhile Stan was able to get her to speak more coherently.

"He...he...he's g..gone." he said

"What do you mean he's gone?" Stan asked

"You re..remember my doc..doctors appointment?" She stammered

"Yeah, what happened?" He asked worried

"I...I mis..I miscarried Stan, the baby's gone." She whimpered bursting into sobs.

Stan pulled her close and kissed her forehead fighting off his own tears. That is when their relationship took a turn for the worst. Stan soon lost his job due to his boss finding out he was selling his own products causing a lot of strain on them. A year later Stan lost another job after being sent to jail in Colombia for six months for attempting to smuggle something across the border. The year after Deb gave up on Stan and filed for divorce and Stan gave up on having stable relationships with women and moved back to Gravity Falls.


	9. Secrets while hunting for Sagitarius

**AN: Well Ladies and Gents you have stayed with me till chapter 9 *tosses confetti* THANK YOU! Welcome to the anti-climactic climax! Please enjoy, and prepare for another FLASH BACK!**

Lizzy's party was going fine. There had been no major arguments, someone had brought up politics but that was quelled with a death glance frome LeAnn, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Stan was discussing taxidermy with LeAnn's father-in-law and completely ignoring Deb and Kat was occupied with LeAnn's younger children. Dipper, Mabel, and Lizzy were camped out underneath the kitchen table exchanging adventure stories from the Mystery Shack and testing out Lizzy's constellation globe she had just gotten.

"So, I was building a fort in Grandpa Stan's backyard last year and I went inside to get some water and more duct tape and when I come back out there is a cow in my fort except," Lizzy said fiddling with the constellation globe looking for Sagittarius then pausing mid-story "Hold on a second I need to check something."

She then popped her head out from underneath the bright blue table clothe they were under and looked around for a few moments then popped back in grinning.

"My Grandma just came in the kitchen, when she and my mom are alone they say really interesting stuff, lets listen!" She whispered quickly.

"Enjoying the party Mom?" LeAnn's voice said chipperly they could hear the sound of running water as she washed her hands.

"Fine, I suppose," the voice of Deb sounded cooly setting something down on the cabinet top then began speaking again tentatively "It would be better if certain people had been left off the guest list."

There was a dull thump as though a towel had been thrown on the counter.

"Mom stop it, Lizzy wanted to see her Grandpa for her birthday." LeAnn said frustrated.

"I don't have a problem with Stan bein here so much as I have a problem with his bringing his and that hippie floozie's love child with him." Deb said in disgust.

It was quiet for a long while before LeAnn replied.

"Mom," she said slowly "You know that Kat was born long after you and Dad split, now I would appreciate it if you dropped it."

Two sets of foot steps left the kitchen. Lizzy then turned confused to Dipper and Mabel.

"Well that was not what I was expecting" She said resuming her hunt for Sagittarius with much less fervor.

The party went well for the rest of the afternoon and before long Dipper, Stan, Kat, and Mabel were loaded up into the car heading back to the Shack. Dipper and Mabel had been mildly confused since they had eavesdropped on LeAnn and Deb, they had no idea what Deb had meant by 'love child' and their curiosity was getting the better of them.

"Hey, Kat?" Mabel called up to her.

"Yep, what can I do for you?" She said

"What's a 'love child'? " She asked

Stan started coughing frantically.

"It's nothing," he said coughing waving his hand "where did you hear that?"

"We over heard Deb call Kat one. What does it mean?" Dipper said

"It's slang for," Kat started.

"Kat, don't." Stan said sternly cutting her off.

Kat glanced at her father then started again.

"It's slang for an illegitimate child." She said speaking over Stan who was turning up the radio and trying to change the topic.

Mabel and Dipper exchanged confused looks.

"What does illegitimate mean?" Mabel said

"It means," Kat started.

"Katarina Harriet Pines-Lake," Stan hissed at her interrupting again "Do not say anything else."

"Dad, it's not a big deal for christsake," She said frustrated then glancing back to Mabel." It means my parents weren't married when I was born. It was considered scandalous when I was a kid"

"Oh." Mabel and Dipper said in unison.

The rest of the car ride home was painfully quiet, the rest of the evening when they returned to the shack, not so much.

"Come on Dad! You seriously can't still be mad it me." Kat said to him that afternoon.

After the big blow up they had after getting back to the Shack Stan had ignored Kat only responding in grunts for the rest of the evening and most of the morning.

"Oh yes I can." Stan said stubbornly.

"Dad, it's not that big of a deal." Kat said.

"For you it's not!" he said frustrated "It's hard enough for me to get respect from anyone and now any chance of getting it from Dipper and Mabel is gone."

"Dad, Dipper and Mabel obviously don't care." Kat said exasperated.

Kat's words fell on deaf ears, seeing as Stan was now pouting in his living room chair arms crossed and scowling. Kat let out a sigh and crouched so she was at his height next to his chair.

"I'm sorry I upset you, I really didn't mean to, I didn't know how uncomfortable you were with the hole 'illegitamate child' thing."

Stan let out a sigh.

"ehh I forgive you I guess, I was being kind of an ass about it." Stand said begrudgingly.

"It's fine, I'm used to it." She said smirking "So do you want to go out and grab a bite to eat, discuss other things I am not supposed to say to Mabel and Dipper perhaps?"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Fine ya' smart aleck." Stan said standing up "I'm picking where we go."

"Suits me fine" She said shrugging grinning.

"Dad, I am not sure pie counts as a legitimate lunch time food." Kat said looking at the slice of pie her dad was eating.

"Don't sass me kid, I am 63 years old I can eat what I want." Stan said around a mouthful of his pie.

"The fact that you are 63 is part of the reason I feel you shouldn't eat pie at lunch time." Kat said picking a french fry up and waving it around a little.

"Kat, honey, don't sass your father." A soft and familiar voice said .

Both Stan and Kat turned quickly to look at the short, curvy, spectacle wearing blonde woman.

"Mom?" Kat said shocked.

"Annabelle?" Stan said with another mouthful of pie just as shocked.

"Hi Kat, Hi Stan." Annabelle laughed.


End file.
